embracing my demons by Rochelle Luer

embracing my demons
that have chased me for years
i feel them re-enter my body
slowly warming me like chamomile tea
being poured through my toes
slowly expanding every vein in my body
as i hang upside down
seeing the world in a different way
eyes slightly blurred
and delayed to focus
my hair sweeps the ground
curious me
thoughts of certain things
ring like the cold sound
of a gun being cocked
in my ear
i hear it over and over
tempting and warning at the same time
its become my background noise
like a clock’s second hand
tick, tick, tick, tick
reminders
there is a satisfaction in giving in
there is a feasting of my addiction
that is decadent and pleasing to me
taking solace in the thought of accepting it all
one is not better than the other
quality of life
quality of happiness
making a choice in what i am willing to let go
and that with which
i can not live without